


What Is Lost —[ACTIVE]

by crystymre



Category: Destiny (Video Games)
Genre: Eventual Romance, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Forgiveness, Game: Destiny 2: Beyond Light DLC, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Lost Love, M/M, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Resentment, Time Travel Fix-It, Will Try To Follow Canon As Lightfall Approaches
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:02:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27999441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crystymre/pseuds/crystymre
Summary: The thing about being a paracausal being with the means to disrupt time and alter history is that nothing can stop you... consequences be damned.
Relationships: Cayde-6/Female Guardian (Destiny), Osiris/Saint-14 (Destiny), The Drifter/Elsie Bray
Comments: 20
Kudos: 34





	1. Chapter 1

_You're interesting. Not entirely interesting, but you have promise. -The Exo Stranger_

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Terin inhaled, the static scent of radiolarian fluid stinging her nostrils as the lake filled around her feet.  _ Near-lake _ , she mused, thinking fondly of Asher. He definitely would have appreciated what they were attempting. Of course, he would have spent the better part of a month arguing with the Bray sisters over the physics of what they were trying to pull off. Instead, Ana and Elsie took little more than six hours to mathematically prove the impossible to be probable. With some kit-bashed ingenuity, the sisters melded the past with the present, their Grandfather's brilliance helping them turn otherwise malevolent technology into something hopeful.

"It won't work," Ghost repeated itself for the twentieth time, the Vex gate looming over the small lake surging to life. The air around them coursed with electricity, a Fallen servitor unwillingly generating ether to power the helpless Harpy the Drifter had taken hostage.

The man preened, his vision given life. 

Ana stood by as her older sister, Elsie, effortlessly fused and manipulated the two beings to create a combined power source capable of stabilizing the Vex time gate.

"It will." Terin watched all of the pieces fall into place, her heart hammering despite her impassive facade. 

"I can mathematically prove their margin of error—"

"We're doing this," she growled, causing her Ghost to flinch.

"Terin…" It warned one last time.

Ghost had been against the plan from its inception. The impulsive idea had been born from a bottle of whiskey, an idle question turning to hypothesis. By sunrise, five minds worked toward a common solution.

"It won't work," Ghost rebuffed the Drifters asinine suggestion the second the question had slipped from his lips.

"Sure, it will. Get in. Grab the goods. Get out. Diverging timelines or whatever."

Elsie shot the man an amused smirk, letting the amber liquid in her frosted glass spin slowly. The snowstorm had died down, everyone taking a seat around the fire as they listened to the radio.

Not that the heat helped quell the cold in Terin's bones.

Stories had been shared, five very different lives brought together under the watchful aura of the pyramid ships in the distance. As it turned out, the Drifter and the once-stranger Elsie were not so dissimilar, their paths flirting with temptation, their seeming self-interest benefiting their shared Guardian.

Elsie spoke of her world, of what had become of each of them, much to Ana's horror and Eris's nonplussed deference.

The Drifter cracked a joke in an attempt to ease the tension, Terin seeing through to the fear that lay behind his eyes. Letting the subject drop, the conversation ebbed and flowed until it landed on Terin's otherwise impossible achievements.

"It would fracture time!"

"Nah," Drifter scoffed, tipping the whiskey back. 

"We'd never have defeated Riven," Ghost protested. "Never have saved Saint. Never have—"

"Not true." It was Eris' turn to smile, hand waving over her orb fondly. "We would still be in the here and now. The events leading us here having already happened."

"See?" Drifter sneered smugly.

"However," she continued. "It's not quite as simple as getting in and getting out," she parroted him.

Terin sat forward, eyes set. "What would I have to do?"

Twiddling her fingers, Terin felt the cold energy of her stasis course through her, staring down the Vex gate. She should have been surprised by Eris's answer but at this point, little shocked her. She'd grown numb, jaded, to the events that unfolded around her. But this…  _ this  _ gave her a hope she hadn't felt in years.

"Get in. Get out," Terin whispered to herself like a mantra, focused on the task ahead. The disc before her coursed with energy, the possibilities as infinite as the Forest that had been consumed by the Darkness on Mercury.

"We could die," Ghost said quietly.

"As opposed to every other mission?" Terin could hear the bite in her voice, an edge that had developed since they'd landed on Europa. At least that's what she told herself. In reality, she knew her distemperment had crept in long before that.

If her Ghost could glare, it would have. "Not  _ unnecessarily _ ."

"Stabilization in ten!" Ana shouted over the increasingly loud hum of the gate, the tech they'd borrowed from the Drifter causing its energy to become erratic. The man stood back, a devious smirk playing across his lips.

"Gotta full deck of paracausal miscreants here and a whole planet fulla tech to play with." He'd said, popping the cork on their second bottle.

"Moon," Eris corrected him.

"Should have some fun with it before the big bad makes her next move."

"Not letting you  _ anywhere  _ near that facility," Elsie said flatly.

"Thank you," Ana exhaled, undoubtedly wondering what she had gotten herself into. Terin had been the one to call the younger Bray, acting as an in-between for the sisters. Ana had agreed to rendezvous at the camp for drinks and cards, the conversation spiraling when the Drifter posed his question. 

_ You brought Saint back. What if you could bring  _ **_him_ ** _ back too? _

"Who?" Elsie had asked.

Eris and Ana spoke simultaneously, Terin keeping quiet as she stared off at the pyramid ship. "Cayde."

After his death, there had been no use in pretending that the former Vanguard hadn't meant something to her. Her heart had fractured that day in the Prison, and it seemed as though nothing would mend it.

"Impossible," Ghost snapped, hovering in the Drifter's face. "Cayde's…  _ death _ ," it said cautiously. "Was a fixed point in time—"

"Was it? Seems to me we got all the ingredients. Vex gate. A Bray or two. Some," he glanced at Eris. "Space voodoo. And everyone's favorite Guardian. Cards are stacked, little amigo."

Terin watched the energy around the pyramid ship, letting her Ghost argue with the Rogue Lightbearer. It was no secret what Ghost thought of him. His half-truths and vague answers had drawn her further away from the Vanguard, much to her Ghost's disliking. 

"You won't be able to save Cayde," Eris cut through the bickering. "But you could save  _ her _ ."

"Sundance." Cayde's Ghost's name was a whisper on Terin's lips. Her own Ghost froze, realizing the implication. If she could save his Light, she could save him.

"You're gonna have to be fast, kid," Drifter leaned forward as the gate stabilized, the subterrain of Europa illuminated by radiolarian once more. "Get in. Get out."

"Time will slow for you," Eris explained. "As it does when Osiris glides through his corridors. But make no mistake, time still presses forward."

Elsie stepped into view beside her sister, a datapad in her hand. "You'll have ten seconds before we pull you back." Terin tugged at the failsafe wrapped around her; thick electrical cords stripped from a Fallen ketch, a Hive seal of Eris' making ensuring it'd stay put.

If Terin hadn't been so focused on the impact of what she was about to do, she would have admired the collaborative effort. Everyone had a part to play in their drunken theory to include Ana, who, while skeptical at first, was drawn in by the rare opportunity.

"Secure his Light, and you secure his soul," Eris had explained. "While beings of Light  _ can  _ live without it, Exos have a unique advantage."

"The Crypt," Ana nearly whispered, eyes darting to her sister.

Elsie nodded. "Cayde-6 still lives among the files."

"What about his memories?" Ghost asked, flitting around the fire. "He survived the collapse as Six. The Dark Ages. The City Age—"

"What were the first words I spoke to you?" Elsie abruptly asked Terin.

"That I was interesting," she and her Ghost answered simultaneously.

Ghost spun, clearly put out by being proven wrong. "You can't expect Sundance's memories to fill in  _ centuries  _ of moods, and thoughts, and —"

"Exo minds," Elsie tapped the side of her head. 

"Heh," the Drifter chuckled. "Plug and play."

"Isn't this  _ against  _ what you're doing here?" Ghost made a final plea. "Clovis was… disturbing."

"And I know that better than anyone here," Elsie countered. "The difference,  _ Little Light _ , is that I do not intend to maim or torture him. He will have only remembered himself as he is—"

"Was."

"Sundance was shot first," Terin said quietly. "He'll have no memory of it if I'm quick."

"Speakin' of," Drifter cut in. "You still got them old Ghost fragments?"

Terin turned her head, eyes falling on the admittedly excited man. "Yeah. Why?"

"Might not be a bad idea to doll 'em up to look like her shell… just in case."

"You want us to plant a fake Sundance in the event that this all blows up?" Ghost asked irritably.

"Better than havin' another one of her show up." He pointed at Elsie.

"Charmed," she bit.

"Oh, I can show you charmin', Sister."

Ghost spun, buzzing around his head. "What happens when this backfires in  _ this  _ timeline?"

The Drifter reached for his Trust, twirling the cannon in his fingers. "That's where I come in."

Terin looked away, the pull of the ship calling to her. 

"You'd shoot Cayde?" Ghost asked, it's indignation at an all-time high.

"If I had to," Drifter shrugged. "Alleviate everyone's conscious if it came down to it."

"How…  _ noble _ ."

"No heroics when you're in there, Sister," the Drifters voice brought her back to the task at hand. "Know you're gonna wanna take Prince Fuckwit out, but you  _ can't. _ If we're all wrong, we're fucked, and I'm never gonna get my glimmer."

"Ah," Eris spoke through her comms. "I was wondering when the Rat's self-interest would show."

"Man owes me money. I've got a chance to collect."

"And what _does_ your benevolence cost?"

"Twenty."

"Thousand?"

"Nope. Just twenty."

"Careful, Germaine. Someone might think that you cared for our fallen Vanguard."

"They'd be wrong."

"As misplaced as his warning is, you'd be wise to heed it, Guardian. The Barons and the Prince must think they have destroyed Sundance. Time will tell whether or not your sleight of hand bears any consequence."

Terin toyed with the painted ghost shell in her hand, pushing down ideas of shooting the then-corrupted prince. "Let's do this," she gritted, Ace heavy on her hip as stasis danced in her other palm. Ghost dematerialized, hiding itself away.

Memories of Cayde flashed before her eyes as she took a running start at the gate. His smile, his laugh, his  _ touch _ . They'd had plans. Albeit new ones. A lifetime of potential snuffed out by one sniper round.

"Cayde wouldn't want this," Ghost argued as she stoked the fire the night before, trying to get Terin to see reason.

"Cause I'm sure he  _ wanted  _ to die in the Prison," Drifter scoffed.

"He—"

"Ya know," Drifter stood, stretching out his arms. "You've done nothing but bitch and bellyache since you've landed on this ice ball. Worried about your precious Guardian fallin' to Darkness. Seems to me that you should be the  _ first _ to want to bring ol' Cayde back. After everything she's done for you lot, your  _ Traveler _ , you'd think she deserves some kind of reward for her efforts."

Ghost glared. 

"Cayde's Light was pure," Eris spoke. "Untainted. Untouched. Should we succeed, I have no illusion to think that he wouldn't serve as an anchor against this turbulent tide."

"The Vanguard needs him," Ana said softly, staring into the flames. "Zavala…"

"Think of what this'll do for  _ his _ guilt," Drifter chuckled before finishing off their third bottle.

"The Vanguard is fracturing," Ana continued. "He knows it. He  _ sees  _ it. The Hunters have all but fled the system. They stop at the Futurescape to refuel before disappearing."

"Fear of the Dare," Eris mused. "Hunters fly from their nests when their leader falls, the unknown driving them back into the wilds. I, myself, hid in a den on Rhea with Omar and Sai after Andal fell. Our paths were to be forged on another moon, not from a perch in a Tower."

"Yeah, and how'd that work out for them?" Drifter cut with a sinister smirk.

Ghost hovered in front of Terin's face, blocking her view of the pyramid. "I know you miss him," it said quietly, trying to appeal to her senses. "I miss him too. But this is  _ wrong _ . You have to know that."

"Did you think that maybe this was  _ meant  _ to happen?" Elsie asked. "I did little more than this to speak to you on Venus. Had I not, the Heart would have grown stronger, your Traveler weaker. Ghaul would have won in due time. And you, Little Light, would be nothing more than a cold chunk of metal."

Terin understood cold. It was a feeling she hadn't been able to shake since that day in the Prison. No amount of revenge or alcohol could reignite the fire within her, her Solar energy seemingly lost for good. Had she known she'd fired off with her last Golden Gun, she'd have saved it for Uldren.

For the first time in years, she could feel embers deep in her being, hope sparking where it had been lost. 

"Ten seconds," Elsie's voice echoed in Terin's comm as she jumped at the center of the gate, the man she loved about to die on the other side.


	2. Chapter 2

_Don't you see? This is as we once said. In Light, there is only weakness. Only failure. Only death. But where the Light takes, the Dark gives. No longer will you be a pawn. No longer will you watch the lives of those you care for be lost. Remember, in Darkness, there is only strength. Only victory. Only life. -The Darkness._

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Even if she'd had months to prepare rather than the hours the Bray sisters allotted, Terin couldn't have readied herself for the emotional impact of being back in the Prison. Knowing that the then-her was floors above, unable to break through the airlock that separated them, she felt utterly helpless — a feeling she had taken months to come to terms with.

They never should have split up… never should have lost sight of each other. Had she known what was going to happen, she would have jumped into the pit after him. But she hadn't known… couldn't have known.

Terin never thought she could feel more powerless than she had then, underestimating what coming back would do to her.

Scorn littered the debris and wreckage, dark ether oozing across concrete like blood on pavement. The stench of rot and gunpowder filled the air, the carnage churning her stomach. Never adverse to the inherent gore of her livelihood, she found the scene more upsetting than she had anticipated.

Knowing  _ what  _ they had done to him… what they were about to do… autopsies explaining in black and white how mangled his frame was, the severity with which they beat him… he should have died more than once. The fracture in Terin's heart split further that day. Further still, when Zavala made his stance known.

Bottling that rage, she took it out on each and every scorn that was unfortunate enough to cross paths with her, mercy all but lost in the plains of the Shore. It wasn't until she stood in the frozen scene that she realized just how deep she'd buried her grief.

Hundreds of slain scorn lay at the base of the prison, impressive considering the odds. At the center of it was Cayde,  _ her  _ Cayde, battered and worn. His face was lit, eyes a dark navy she'd only ever seen in battle or in the bedroom. Terin choked back an involuntary sob, remembering their night before they left for the prison.

_ "I love you," _ he had whispered, limbs wound with hers. Terin remembered how happy he was to leave the Tower, Zavala daring to ask, "What's the worst that could happen?"

A part of her hated him for it.

A part of her hated herself for rationalizing her Commander's decision.

Beside Cayde, Sundance held suspended in air, time seemingly frozen around her. Fire reflected off of her golden tips, her optic expressing her fear and concern. No one could ever love the Exo as unconditionally and wholeheartedly as Sundance did. 

"Nine," Terin's Ghost counted real-world time.

Approaching the immobile Ghost, Terin held out her palm, cradling her in her hand. Traveler how she'd missed her. Sundance had balanced her Guardian, neither themselves without the other. His Ghost had been there for her in times when her own could not, seeing her through the emotional let down of the war.

Terin owed Sundance better than she was about to do to her. Closing her eyes, she pulled her stasis, encapsulating the Ghost in Darkness.

"Eight."

The violet ball of ice dematerialized, Terin scattering the painted shells over the top of a Wraith that had been shot through by Ace. She glanced to what was now a paradoxical gun, like the shotgun before it. The only difference being that Saint survived after their meeting. Cayde would not.

"Seven."

Stepping over the remnants of a Stalker, Terin approached the man wielding Ace in then-time. The look on his face was determined, serious in so many ways that he was not. She'd never been able to see his face from the angle of the security cameras, a blessing and a curse. She'd watched the footage countless times, Petra finally denying her access as she hyper-fixated.

Knowing there was no going back, she glanced in the direction of the camera in question, flipping it the bird. Terin knew Petra would get a kick out of it.

"Six."

Her gaze fell on haunting cobalt optics, eyes she had intended to stare into for the rest of her unnatural life. Before she thought to stop herself, she was touching his face, fingers cradling his jaw as her thumb swept over the cavity of his cheek. He was still warm to the touch.

A tear ran down her face.

"Five. Terin, we  _ have  _ to go," Ghost said impatiently.

"Why?" she asked, her voice soft as she studied Cayde's features. "We could stay."

"Terin, no," Ghost zipped in front of her face, forcing her to blink out of her trance. "We  _ can't  _ stay."

"Why not?"

"Cayde  _ has  _ to die," Ghost nearly shouted. "You know this!"

"But what if he doesn't?" Red stained eyes tore to Uldren lurking in the corner. "I could kill him," she exhaled, balling her fists. "I could stop him here and now. I could--"

"TERIN!"

She bit her lip, tear-filled eyes pleading with her Ghost. "Please?" she whispered. "I've done so much… I've given  _ everything _ … I can't," she forced herself to breathe. "I thought I could, but I can't. I can't  _ leave  _ him. Not again."

"If this works, you'll have him back," Ghost rested on her wrist, forcing her hand away from Cayde's face. "But we can't bring him back if we don't move."

Terin felt her failsafe pull around her waist, a quick tug to remind her it was time to leave. Turning back to Cayde, she pressed her lips to his, kissing him goodbye, undoing her biggest regret. "I love you."

"Two," Ghost warned, its anxiety palpable.

Closing her eyes, she stepped backward into the tear in reality, Cayde as she knew him dying yet again. Collapsing to the ground, she broke, radiolarian draining away as she cried out. The sound was raw, unhinged, and primal as it echoed off the surfaces of the chamber.

Consumed by her grief, her heart finally gave out.

No one dared to make a sound, their hardened Guardian breaking after years of holding it together.

Ghost hovered tentatively, its Light cast over Terin's lifeless frame. "Let her sleep," Eris said softly, kneeling beside them. Breathing life back into the small Hunter, Ghost set about procuring Sundance.

"She wanted to stay," Ghost said, its voice lain with empathy. " _ Begged  _ to stay."

"She would have died," Eris said plainly. "None of us are so inhuman as to avoid the rage that comes with loss." The woman spoke of her own experience, pain lingering in her voice.

"We should move her to camp," Elsie said, taking Sundance into her hands. "Ana and I can get started without her."

The Drifter made his way over, his trademark smirk replaced by genuine concern. Kneeling, he hoisted Terin up into his arms, carrying her unconscious body bridal style. "I hope for all of our sakes we weren't wrong about this. We don't bring him back, you can bet your asses she'll kill all of us." The two dematerialized, Ghost following behind.

"For once, I agree with him," Eris stated somberly. "Her descent to Darkness will only be fueled by this."

Elsie nodded in agreement. "Then we should get started." Releasing the ice prison holding Sundance, the Ghost plummeted for half a second before catching herself. 

Peering up, the plates of her shell shifted defensively. "Where--? Eris?"

"Welcome back," Eris smiled.

Sundance spun, realizing Cayde was nowhere to be found. "Where's--?" She paused. "Where's Terin?" Sundance asked instead, her shell bristling with anger. "What did she  _ do _ ?"


	3. Chapter 3

_Guess you better hope I didn't tell anyone about the crypt. Or about the, uh, what was it? Oh yeah… Long Slow Whisper. 'Cause if I did, that would be real bad for you, huh? I may be dead, but I guarantee you ain't heard the last of me._

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Sundance remembered the day she met Terin, the short blonde Hunter wandering into the Hall as wide-eyed and lost as the rest. While no one could ever dispute whether or not Cayde cared for his Hunters as their Vanguard, it was a known fact that he taught through sink or swim tactics. Prove you could handle yourself, more specifically handle your gun, and he'd sit down with you over a drink and proclaim you one of his own.

This never happened with Terin.

Any other Guardian he would have waved off dismissively until they proved themselves, telling them to run patrols and find better guns. With Terin, he froze. Looking up for once, the gears comprising his heart sped to double time, his voice module short-circuiting momentarily as he tried to put thoughts into words. 

Sundance knew all of this because she  _ felt  _ his reaction.

Love at first sight. At least that's what Sundance would ultimately deduce; Cayde's trashy romance novels lending credence to the otherwise unbelievable trope. At the time, though, it was an asinine concept that two perfect strangers should fall in love by merely laying eyes on one another. 

Sundance simply refused to buy into it.

Even  _ after _ Terin took down an Archon.

Not the only one shocked by the reports, Sundance took note of Cayde's endocrine sensors pinging on high alert. His inner cooling fans sped up as the Hunter made her way back into the Hall, her smile bright and victorious,  _ clearly  _ affecting her Vanguard. His system flooded with synthetic hormones, testosterone levels steadily climbing as she gave Zavala her full statement. 

So far as Sundance could tell, his physiological response was that of lust. Attraction was something that she  _ could  _ quantify. After all, Terin was exactly the type of woman he chased after: short, lean, quick with a knife. The fact that she'd single-handedly taken on a Fallen Archon only added to her allure.

While Sundance detested the bets Ren and Shiro-4 would place on Cayde's sex life, she was half tempted to message them both, if only for future bragging rights. She had been  _ certain  _ Cayde would make some kind of move, whether it was one of his cheesy pick up lines or him just outright asking Terin out to drinks.

As it turned out, Sundance was wrong.

Weeks turned into months. Months turned into years. Gods came and fell and were replaced again, all while Cayde harbored his feelings in secret. Sundance had asked on more than one occasion why he simply didn't say  _ something  _ to the now-legendary Hunter. Each time he would brush it off, stating that he was her Vanguard and it was inappropriate.

In the centuries that she had been with Cayde, it had never been  _ inappropriate  _ before.

Of course, she had also never seen him go longer than a month between flings, let alone  _ years _ . The two she was thankful she hadn't made that bet with gave him all manners of grief, accusing him of having finally gotten old, finally acting like the Vanguard he was.

Sundance was the only one that knew the truth.

Cayde was in love.

He wouldn't admit it aloud until weeks after the war, nightmares of the Crypt causing him to scream her name late one night. Sundance flashed into existence, quickly scanning her Guardian. "I--" he got out, unnecessary breathing labored as terror tormented his nerves. "She. Shit." Cayde collapsed back onto the couch.

"What happened?" Sundance asked, thankful that the pumps controlling his heart were slowing.

"She was there. Terin was  _ there _ ."

"You were fighting her?" Sundance knew the nightmares well, how Cayde stood in the shadow of the tower forced to slay everyone he'd ever met. He couldn't have been one of the few fortunate Exo's to dream of golden millet.

Cayde shook his head. "No. She was fighting  _ for  _ me."

That was new.

"And the whispers?" Sundance asked.

"She  _ was  _ the whisper," he said quietly, his mind trying to process what he'd dreamt. "Does that make sense?"

"No."

Cayde sat up, throwing his legs over the side seat. "I thought the nightmares had stopped. After… after we lost our Light they went away and--"

"Cayde?" Sundance floated into his field of view. "You need to talk to her. Need to tell her--"

"I can't."

"You've had the exact same nightmare for nearly a millennia. And now Terin is  _ in  _ them."

"Once."

"You see why, don't you?"

Cayde looked up, bright eyes unblinking.

"She's your Guardian."

"I know--"

"No, Cayde. She is  _ your  _ Guardian." Sundance tried to be as transparent as possible. She watched as his through processors tried to unravel what she had said, putting it into context, facing truths he'd been avoiding. "Terin was there fighting  _ for  _ you, right? Just like she always has."

Realization dawned on him. It had  _ always  _ been Terin.

_ Terin  _ in the Black Garden. 

_ Terin  _ in the Vault of Glass.

_ Terin  _ against Crota. 

_ Terin  _ when the Awoken called. 

_ Terin  _ infiltrating the Dreadnaught.

_ Terin  _ stopping SIVA.

_ Terin  _ saving him from his own stupidity.

_ Terin  _ saving them all… 

"She was just doing her job," he said, denying the obvious.

"Doesn't change how  _ you  _ feel about it… about her."

His faceplates arranged into a frown. "It should, though. She was saving the whole system, not just me."

"I don't know…" Sundance hummed. "She could have left you in that Vex loop."

"Hey!" He pointed his finger at her. "We agreed we'd never bring that up again!"

"Can we just fast forward to the part where you admit that you've been in love with Terin for years?"

"It hasn't been--" Cayde paused. "Years? No. Really?"

"Since she rezzed."

"No," he scoffed dramatically.

"I could show you the biometrics--"

"Ah, no."

The two sat in silence as the sensors in his body stabilized, the pavlovian pain associated with his nightmares finally easing.

"So, now that we've taken half a decade to get  _ that  _ out of the way… when are you going to tell her?"

Cayde stood, shaking his head. "Hard no."

"She's not seeing anyone," Sundance sing-songed in her own mechanical way.

"That's not-- wait, how do you know that?"

"I asked Ghost."

"You conspiring little," his mouth gaped at a loss for words.

"She's leaving for Mercury in the morning."

"Mercury?" he questioned. 

"Ship is packed with at least two months worth of supplies."

"Again, how do you  _ know  _ these things?"

"I asked Amanda."

"Oh, great." He threw his arms up in the air dramatically. "Now she knows too."

"Oh, she's known since Oryx."

Cayde's jaw dropped. "This is all well and good, but you're forgetting one teeny-tiny incy-wincy detail."

"And what's that?"

"Terin doesn't love me! Let alone even  _ think  _ about me like that."

"How do you know?"

"Don't you think she would have  _ said  _ something by now?"

If Sundance could have shrugged, she would have. "I mean, I thought for sure you'd say something  _ years  _ ago, but here we are."

"I--" he held a finger up. "Nope. Ya know what… nope. Screw it." Grabbing his cloak, he dropped down into the venting above the Hangar, starling the handful of sweeper bots up cleaning in the small hours of the morning.

"What are you doing?" Sundance chased after him as he marched toward the residential quarters.

"Gonna ask."

"You're going to ask Terin if she loves you?"

"Something like that."

"So after years of denial, you're going to blow this whole thing wide open in one night?" Sundance could hear the mirth in her voice.

"You said it yourself, she's leaving for Mercury tomorrow. What if I don't say something now? What if she and Brother Vance--?"

"I'll stop you right there."

"Yep. Good thinking." Navigating the catwalks, Cayde found himself outside Terin's residence, mud-coated boots sitting out front. He froze, optics blinking as he stared at her door.

"Cayde?" Sundance nudged at his horn.

"Yeah?"

"Lose some steam there?"

"No, right, yeah," he shook, raising his hand to knock. Sundance noted the synthetic adrenaline pumping through him, his artificial heart in overdrive as metal knuckles rapped on her door. Without giving her a chance to answer the summons, he spun on his heel, eyes on the ground as he muttered, "I'm an idiot. A complete and total idiot. Should have left me on Nessus--"

"Cayde?" This time it was Terin speaking, standing in her open doorway. "It's two am," she yawned. "What are you--?"

He spun back. "I had a dream about you!" he shouted at an awkward volume, starling her.

Terin's mouth open and closed in succession, blonde brows drawn together. "I didn't think Exo's had--"

"Nightmare," he clarified. "I had a nightmare about you."

"Cayde," Sundance butted against his head.

"That is to say you were  _ in  _ my nightmare," he tried again.

"Oh. Uhm…" Terin bit her lip, visibly confused.

"In a good way."

"Okay?"

"You were killing…  _ literally  _ everyone I've ever met," he rambled.

"Cayde!" Sundance hit him again.

"Not just me. Cayde's 1 through 5 too. It was magnificent," his face lit up. " _ You  _ were magnificent. Terrifying. But magnificent."

"Cayde?" Terin stepped out, wrapping her shawl around her.

"So I got to thinking about how I think about you. Or rather Dance pointed out the obvious  _ forcing  _ me to think about how I think about you."

"You do?"

"Apparently 'Manda and this one," he jutted his thumb at Sundance. "Have known that I've been in love with you since forever--"

"You what?" Terin's eyes went wide, her squeak unnoticed by the Exo as he spoke faster than she could keep up.

"So it makes sense that you'd be in my night terror."

She swallowed. "It does?"

"I mean, yeah?" Cayde began to pace, his boots clicking on the concrete. "Wasn't like it was Zavala there. It was  _ you _ , ya know? Whatever fucked up coding those assholes slipped in for the funsies, gets it. Dance is right."

"About?"

"First dream I've had since the war, and  _ you  _ were in it. That  _ means _ things." He nodded his head, practically talking to himself as he continued to pace.

"It means that you love me?"

"I think I knew. On some level, I had to of known. I mean, I admire you. And you're sexy as hell," he rambled.

"Cayde!" Sundance protested again.

"I just didn't think that you--" Cayde froze, realizing how far he'd spiraled in his verbal diarrhea of a confession. "Dance?"

"Yes?"

"Stand by for resurrection." 

"What?!"

Cayde spun toward the railing that guarded against the drop off the wall, fully prepared to jump. Before he could lift a foot, a firm hand was around his wrist, pulling him back. He crashed into Terin as she tipped up onto her toes, lips pressing against metal faceplates. His optics dimmed as she reached up to cup his jaw, thumb running over the cavity of his cheek.

Wind gusted up around them, pushing up the curve of the wall to the railing they stood beside, Cayde's cloak wrapping around Terin as they kissed. After a moment, she released his wrist, falling back down onto her heels. "I love you too," she exhaled, her face stained with a slight blush.

"You do?"

"I just didn't think because you're you…" Terin motioned toward him.

"And you're you," Cayde countered.

"Right. But  _ you're  _ Cayde."

"And  _ you're  _ Terin," he argued.

"And you're both idiots!" Sundance chimed in.

"She might be right about that," Cayde said with a smirk in his voice.

Terin frowned. "I'm leaving."

"I know. Hence the two am wake up call."

"But I'll be back," she smiled, a hint of hope behind her eyes.

"And I'll be here."

There'd come a point that Cayde would call his relationship with Terin a 'slow burn.' Terminology no doubt taken from the romance novels he read. Stories he read less and less of as things became more serious with the Young Wolf. With Rasputin secured and Panoptes defeated, the couple took time to let themselves be in love, laying awake late at night making plans for the future.

Sundance had never seen Cayde so happy.

She'd never seen  _ anyone  _ so happy, their love somehow contagious as it boosted morale throughout the entire tower. For once, no one minded the sonnets Shaxx recited.

And then, they received the call from Petra.

Anxious to leave the Tower, Cayde didn't think twice about lending a hand at the Prison. In fact, he'd had plans to take Terin to his favorite spot in the Reef and watch the debris float through the purple-hued nebula afterward.

No one could have known how terribly wrong things would go in the Prison.

No one could have anticipated the setup.

In a blaze of glory, Sundance and Cayde plummeted through the center of chaos, pride swelling in him as he waved to his girl and Petra on the way down. Leave it to him to do something so stupid to try to impress her.

Had things gone differently, it probably would have.

But as Cayde fought his way through scores of Scorn, they both knew something was terribly wrong. A feeling of fear crept through the Hunter Vanguard, something akin to the emotion he felt the day Andal fell. Determination outweighed his mounting hopelessness, but a part of him  _ knew _ … a part of  _ her  _ knew… that this was their end.

"Was that really…" Cayde coughed, fluids splattering on cracked concrete. "All you got? Help me out here, little buddy."

Sundance materialized, set to heal her Guardian. She could feel Cayde's despair, knew that they weren't getting out of this one alive. As she went to draw on his Light, time froze.

And then  _ Darkness. _

By the time her systems were back online, she was  _ elsewhere _ . Somewhere she knew she shouldn't be…  _ couldn't  _ be. And there was no Cayde in sight.

"Where's--?" She paused. Her internal clock showed an improbable date  _ years  _ after they'd landed at the Prison. Scanning, she was unable to feel Cayde's presence. His vaults at the Tower checked empty. His ships, gone.

There was only one logical conclusion. 

"Where's Terin?" Sundance asked, her shell bristling with anger. While Ghosts couldn't have adrenaline highs, she was certain what she was feeling was close. The whiplash of near-death to whatever she was experiencing caused her Light to recoil, something in the air seemingly wanting to smother it.

"What did she  _ do _ ?" 

Terin's energy could be felt everywhere. Her Light signature, while changed, was stronger than it had been before. Attempting to quickly contact Ghost, she was met with static, but even static was better than the deafening silence of Cayde's comms. 

Sundance didn't know  _ what  _ had happened, but she knew Terin was behind it somehow.

"I'll need you to follow me." 

Sundance spun, spotting an Exo she'd never met. "Who are you?"

"Now is not the time for questions. We need to be quick if we are to save your Guardian."

She spun, getting into the Exo's face. "What did you do to Cayde? Why can't I feel him?"

"You can't feel him because he's dead," the Exo said flatly. "Has been for some time now. Ana, with me. Eris, if you would be kind enough to ensure that  _ vagrant  _ doesn't set foot inside our lab?"

"Lab?" Sundance angled wildly. "What lab? Where  _ am  _ I?"

"Welcome to Europa," the Exo said with a wicked smile in her voice. "Home of the Deep Stone Crypt."


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So pure damn coincidence but Evade JUST put up a video 12/17 more or less discussing the premise of this fic. [Evade's Video](https://youtu.be/3IeF6WNklpU)
> 
> The first two min are a cinematic but the rest both supports my HC as well as blows holes into it lol 
> 
> This is fic, the handful of you reading it know this. Cue space magic.

_Why does a war machine have emotions? Why should a war machine have awareness? These are not useful traits on the battlefield. Don't flatter yourself. They are not useful. So why should the Exo mind mimic the human architecture so closely?_

✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵

"Mornin' sunshine."

Terin forced an eye open, the bright white snows of Europa momentarily blinding her. She had no question as to what happened, the hauntingly familiar sensation of being un-dead seeping into her bones. "How long have I been out?" she asked, her voice slightly slurred.

"Bout thirty-six hours." The Drifter took a long sip of coffee. "Ghost kept ya under. Let you get some rest."

Terin groaned, making an attempt to get up. "What'd you do?" she asked, forcing her vision to focus. "What is this?"

"Mild sedative. Can't have you stormin' the castle just yet."

"Where's Sun--?"

"With the ladies," he smirked, setting his tin cup down. "Gotta say. I get it. Took me some time, but I finally get it."

"Get what?" Terin gave up, letting herself fall back on the sleeping bag.

"Why you turned me down that day."

Using all of the strength she could muster, she turned to face him, glaring at him indignantly.

"I was hurt, I'll have you know. Guy puts himself on the line like that just to have you laugh in his face," he tisked, shaking his head. "But now I see it."

"See what?"

"How in love with him you were. Disgusting, really."

"Fuck you," she spat without venom.

"Wonder what all those big bads you slew would say now? The God Killer taken out by a broken heart," he chuckled.

"Remind me to shoot you in the dick later," she growled.

Drifter leaned forward, tisking her. "You know, _that's_ not the Guardian Cayde will have remembered. You used to be all kind and happy. It was annoying."

"Yeah, well, people change."

"Oh, you've done more than change, Sister."

"Wasn't this your damn idea?"

"Told you, he owes me money."

"Right," Terin rolled her eyes.

"I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little curious how an Exo is made. Add in that timey-wimey shit, and I am rapt with anticipation."

"You just want into the facility."

"You _were_ kind enough to crash land it on the planet, so yeah."

"Moon," Eris spoke from the doorway.

"Like a broken fucking record," he muttered, rising to his feet.

"I'm afraid we require your assistance," Eris said tersely. "Cayde's Ghost is being less than cooperative."

Terin made a face, forcing herself to sit upright. "Where's Ghost?"

"With Sundance," Eris explained. "It's your time to shine, Rat."

Drifter smirked, crossing his arms. "Thought I wasn't allowed near the shiny tech?"

"I've been given explicit instruction to shoot you should you decide to look with your fingers," she smiled.

"Takin orders from Bray?"

"Oh, I _volunteered_."

"Tch." Drifter bent, scooping Terin up in his arms. The three dematerialized, reappearing in the heart of the laboratory. "Lil help here?" he snapped at Ghost.

Sundance and Ghost flitted over to her, one countering her drugs the other chastising her. "Where have you been?" Sundance snapped with all of the ferocity that a Ghost could. "What's going on?"

"I told you--" Ana called out.

"Not you. Her," Sundance said, zipping around Terin's head. "What did you do?"

"We've already explained it all," Ana began. " _Someone_ doesn't want to listen."

"I showed her our recording of the events," Ghost said, finally finished healing Terin.

"Doesn't that violate some kind of Asimov's Law or something?" Drifter asked, eyeing her Ghost as he set Terin upright on her feet.

"You make things up to hear the sound of your own voice, don't you?" Eris asked, walking across the pristine white floor.

Drifter looked to Ghost. "Am I wrong?"

"Yes," it answered without missing a beat. "What you're trying and failing to suggest is paradoxical information. However, that only applies when you're referencing black holes--"

"The answer is no, you miscreant," Sundance cut in. "We're paracausal beings. At the very least, I should have expected you to understand _that_."

"Feisty," he grinned.

"Are we doing this or not?" Ana asked impatiently.

"Could we," Terin spoke up. "Could we have a moment?"

"Sure thing," the youngest Bray said, not bothering to hide her irritation. "I'll be with Elsie when you're ready."

"Come along, Rat." Eris pulled the Drifter away.

Sundance waited until the room cleared, Ghost dematerializing to give them privacy. "What did you do?"

"I--" her voice cracked. "I had an opportunity… a chance… and you're _here,_ which means we have a shot… for Cayde."

"You can't bring back the dead, Terin. Not like this. Cayde died the final death."

"But I can!" she snapped, her voice echoing off the lab's walls. "I brought back Saint. I can bring back Cayde!"

"You what?" Sundance asked, Ghost clearly having only shared details of the Prison.

"I went back to Mercury. Walked the Corridors. Found Saint and brought him _home_."

"You brought Geppetto _here_?" Sundance glanced around.

Terin shook her head. "No. That was before… this."

"Then why would you think--?"

"I know about the backups," Terin cut to the point. "The engrams… his memories. We can replace his body but his memories… his soul, his Light, is with _you_."

"He told you?" Sundance asked, her shock evident in her voice.

Terin laughed despite herself. "Think I would have gone to all of this without _knowing_?"

"Yes."

She smiled, a tear running down her cheek. "I thought I'd never see you again."

"You weren't supposed to."

"Please, Dance? I _know_ he had you do it that morning before we left. I just… I can't _do_ this without him. Not anymore. I've tried for so long, and I am _slipping_. I can feel it. Ghost _feels_ it."

"What happened?" Sundance asked, taking appraisal of the broken Guardian in front of her.

"The Darkness is here."

"Oh, great. You want me to bring Cayde back so you can die together?" she bit sarcastically.

"No. The Darkness is _here_ ," Terin clutched at her armor above her heart. "But I can bring him back. _We_ can bring him back."

"Just because you could doesn't mean you should," Sundance said.

"Then don't do it for me," Terin pleaded. "Do it for him. Do it for his fireteam. For the Hunters fleeing the system because the Vanguard has fractured--"

"When you say--?"

"Zavala grounded all of us after Cayde's death. Forbade anyone from going after the Barons or Uldren."

"He _what_?" 

"Ikora had no choice but to agree, and then she ended up on Luna with Eris before the Commander and Ana activated the Seraph Towers, and then the first pyramids arrived on Io, and now Asher is gone and Sloane--"

"Breathe!" Sundance butted against her forehead.

"We're too far spread," Terin shook her head, eyes on the floor. "Luna has been all but abandoned. The few that remained behind are either here on Europa or hiding in the Cosmodrome… Everyone is preparing for the worst, and here I am, again, fighting for everyone, _again_. I thought I was strong enough, but when they broke down the probability and showed me the math, and I saw… I saw the most _finite_ chance that I could have Cayde back, that _we_ could have Cayde back... I broke, and I took it."

"Terin," Sundance spoke softly. "There's a chance this won't work."

She looked up, eyes burning from the tears she held back. "I have to try."

"Do you trust them? Ana and…"

"Elsie. Elizabeth Bray."

"I thought she died?"

"I should have Ghost explain it." 

"I have a feeling Ghost will have a lot to catch us up on," Sundance floated off, giving the Hunter room. "Alright. Let's do this."

Calling Ana back in, her sister followed, both entirely too eager to get to work. With the Exo's generic frame already forged, Terin and Sundance followed the production line as artificial organs were created and installed, exterior plating dipped and dyed to match the original unit.

"Anything you want to change?" Ana asked. "Now's the time."

"Absolutely not," Terin answered all too quickly.

"I don't know," the Drifter drawled from behind her. "Opportunity like this, a gal might want to _enhance_ certain features." He winked at Terin, Sundance angrily buzzing beside her.

"Why is _he_ here?" the Ghost asked.

"For the comedic relief," he snarled.

Sundance looked away, refocusing on the frame that was to become Cayde. "What about his armor?" she asked Terin quietly. "And Ace?"

Ghost materialized, transferring the engramic items to her. "We kept them safe."

"No changes then?" Ana asked, trying to stay on task.

Terin smiled, pressing her fingers to the glass that separated observation from the assembly line. "No changes."

Together they watched as the final pieces were put into place, a hollow Cayde-unit decontaminating before moving to the final staging area. Sundance supplied decades worth of backed-up memories in engram form, the Bray sisters meticulously inputting the data as a consciousness was formed.

"Is there…" Terin began to ask, watching the automation at work. "Is there anything we can do about the nightmares?"

Elsie turned, a sympathetic smile on her face. "I'm afraid not. The _way_ Clovis created clarity control… well, you've read his journals."

Sundance quickly shifted, looking between the two women. "Clarity control?"

"Papa Bray found himself some Vex milk and served it up to the Darkness in an ice-cold mug," Drifter laughed.

"Radiolarian fluid is _not_ meant to be chilled," Ghost bit.

"Wait," Sundance spun around. "Cayde--"

" _All_ Exo's," Elsie corrected her.

"Was created using powers of Darkness, yes," Terin finished the answer to the question Sundance hadn't asked yet. "It's why they dream of the Crypt. Why they hear the whispers…"

"Not all Exo's," Ana chimed in. "Ada-1 was created in her family's forges." All heads turned her direction, casting her the same look. "Thought everyone knew that?"

"Makes you wonder what the Armory's got going on with those drills of theirs," Drifter said. "Pyramid ship on the Moon… why not one under Earth's mantle?"

"Can we focus?" Elsie asked.

"Dance?" Terin asked the gold-tipped Ghost floating beside her.

"There's no other way? Other than this 'clarity control'?"

"Short of him ripping himself to pieces in an attempt to escape what he believes is a metal sarcophagus? No." Elsie answered.

Drifter made a face. "Gruesome."

Sundance ignored him. "And he's lived with it? The Darkness? This whole time?"

"Since he lost his mortal body," Elsie reassured her.

"An Exo's existence is the by-product of a darker agenda," Eris spoke from the far doorway. "War machines created to achieve immortality. Had Clovis been able to foresee the collapse, to know the Traveler's intent, he might have prevented his own descent into madness."

"Not likely," Ana and Elsie chimed.

"What happens next?" Sundance asked, floating closer to the glass.

"We upload his mind and flip the switch, so to speak. He will go through a neutrino wash and final adjustment before he is fully brought online."

"After that, we will run a multitude of diagnostics and reflex tests."

"And his Light?" Terin asked, her eyes having never left the empty Cayde form.

"One right between the eyes oughta do it," Drifter said, making a gun with his hand to aim through the glass. Terin turned to glare. "Gotta die to be rezzed."

"One thing at a time," Ana said, worriedly looking between the two. "Are we ready?"

Terin nodded, Sundance resting on her shoulder as the pair watched anxiously. Cayde's body continued along the assembly line, disappearing beyond their sight into the final stages. She walked along the length of the window before stepping into the next room, lights flashing.

"You might want to step back," Ana warned as Terin neared the tank of ionized fluids his body had been built in. The orange and blue glow of his body shone through the iridescent liquid, his optics lighting up for the first time.

"Cayde?" Terin reached hesitantly, knowing better than to touch. Automated arms pulled the tank from the wall to level it horizontally, the glass sliding back. 

He blinked, staring up at her.

Terin's heart flipped as she let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. "Cayde," she smiled, unfiltered happiness spreading through her being. The last piece of the puzzle slipped into place, their efforts paying off as the fractures in her heart filled with hope.

Cayde sat up, his ungloved metal hand quickly wrapping around Terin's neck before pulling her face beneath the electrically charged fluids. Involuntary swallowing in the liquid, she choked, the charged waters burning her skin. Flailing against him her limbs fruitlessly beat against his solid frame, Ana screaming in the distance.

Twisting his wrist, Cayde snapped her neck, Terin's world going dark. 

**Author's Note:**

> First things first. Yes, I am recycling my Guardian Terin because she is mine and I love her lol We are a small fandom here and what I write is purely self-indulgent.
> 
> Secondly, come say hi. Seriously, just hop on in my DM's I dont bite. [@crystymre](https://twitter.com/crystymre)


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